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SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS: Do you get panic attacks and severe
anxiety when you are afraid of being abandoned - afraid that someone you
love might leave you?
Fear
of being abandoned is one of life's most life-debilitating fears, one that
plagues millions of Americans. This fear eats away at the core of your
life, your feelings of self-worth and your relationships with others.
And it can be a repeated cycle.
Are you attracted to or love someone who
is verbally, emotionally or physically abusive?
Fear
of being abandoned creates severe anxiety and can cause you to cling to
abusive relationships - verbally, emotionally or physically.
It can
lead you to unconsciously attract and be attracted to people
who will
abandon you. This is referred to as "repetition compulsion" in
psychiatric circles, and refers to situations where you repeat your
childhood trauma and the patterns you may have experienced in your family.
You can see it all around you when those who suffer from the fear of
abandonment
leave one dysfunctional relationship only to quickly find another, virtually
identical one. Does this happen to you?
True,
lasting love is Passion, Admiration and Respect - PAR for the course of
love. While it sometimes begins with passion, it waits until the
character of the loved one is revealed - over time - before becoming
vulnerable. In other words, it waits until the other has proven
through the course of living that he or she is safe to be with.
Velcro relationships, on the other hand - those in which the attraction is
so instantaneous and
powerful, it is virtually impossible to resist - are a dead giveaway
that you have attracted and are attracted to a person that will trigger
your childhood experiences of abandonment. These relationships are
usually characterized by
an emotional roller-coaster of extreme drama, fear, and anxiety.
THE CAUSE:
Do you know why you suffer from so much
anxiety, panic and fear of being abandoned? Why you attract and are
attracted to people who trigger your fear of being left?
This
fear is not "irrational." You are afraid of being abandoned because
-
At
some time - usually in the distant past and often as an infant, you
experienced an event that you interpreted as abandonment and made you very
afraid. Because we are a culture of
divorce,
working parents, single mothers, and few extended families, this is very
common.
-
You
may or may not "remember" the event because it may have occurred before you
developed "verbal memory," the ability to put words to events to explain
them.
-
When
the event occurred, the brain chemicals produced by anxiety synthesized into
proteins and were stored in the emotional brain (amygdala)
-
Now,
whenever you encounter something that "reminds" you of that traumatic event,
these proteins are "disturbed," and you experience the same feelings now
that you did then - panic attacks, anxiety, fear, terror of being unloved or
left alone.
My past relationship was
an exact copy of my relationship with my mother. He drank, she
drank, he took pills, she took pills, he was out of control, she was
out of control. I felt frightened and vulnerable and in charge
with them both. It hit me, even though I wasn't even thinking
about it, I mean, I wasn't trying to figure it out at the time.
I had been through the process of getting these feelings up and out a
couple of weeks earlier, and suddenly I was making very specific
connections that had eluded me before.
Do you try to avoid these feelings by trying to control your partner?
The
first line of defense for most people who fear abandonment is to try to
control the environment, their
partners, friends, family or children. But this is one of the most
exhausting and destructive responses - often resulting in the person really
abandoning you - and sometime in stalking,
harassment, even murder. The sequence of feelings goes something like
this:
-
That
person is causing my fear
-
If
they didn't do that, I wouldn't be having these panic attacks
-
Therefore, it is their fault that I feel this way
-
If I
can get them to change their behavior, I won't be anxious
-
If I
can control my environment better, I will be free from anxiety and panic
(If you would like a FREE, more detailed
report on the healthy amygdala please enter your e-mail address below
and download.)
Do you know WHY controlling your partner's behavior won't eliminate your
anxiety, panic attacks or fear of abandonment, no matter what he or she
does?
Make
no mistake about it, the feelings you are having are real -
BUT - they are caused by the original experience and not the "trigger."
-
The
fear, panic attacks and anxiety that you are experiencing are not "caused"
by your partner, they are only triggered by him or her
-
Fear,
panic attacks and anxiety are caused by real physical entities, proteins
stored in the emotional
brain, that only you can get rid of.
-
Even
if you could control your partner's behavior 24/7, someone else will trigger
your feelings at another time - perhaps a parent, a friend or other
acquaintance.
-
Controlling your partner 24/7 is exhausting work - and will probably end up
with your partner leaving anyway when they get sick and tired of your
trying to control them.
-
You
will unconsciously attract and be attracted to abusive relationships who will abandon
you until you get rid of the underlying cause - this is referred to as
"repetition compulsion" in psychological jargon.
THE CURE:
Did you know that the emotional brain,
like other parts of the body self-corrects?
So, as Dr. Phil says, how is all that
control stuff working for you? Probably not very well, which is
why I am asking you to "stop doing the same thing over and over again
expecting different results!" You can get rid of your old
emotional baggage, your fear of abandonment, panic and anxiety
completely and NOW without medication - BUT
Your body is
engaged in a constant struggle (often with you!) to get rid of this
protein and get healthy - and if you learn how to give up the struggle,
you will begin to get well virtually overnight.
Your anxiety, life
crises and abusive relationships are not "wrong" but are symptoms of
previous fearful experiences. When you get rid of
the protein, you will also attract - and be attracted to -healthier
relationships and life circumstances.
You must "do something different" when your
anxiety starts to grow.
You must learn what to do when the memory is in a "labile" state - i.e. as it
is being triggered - not by trying to control it, but by LETTING GO!
You must learn how to work WITH your body's
self correcting mechanism instead of against it.
You can do this with or without your
partner's cooperation - AND - you don't need to actually remember the trauma that
set the fear of abandonment in motion to get rid of it either.
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What a week this has been! I
have been releasing on a non-stop basis. I brought the tapes home and my
husband has listened to them and is releasing also. This is what we have
been looking for for a long time. I also noticed that things
that irritate me come up quicker than before, but instead of yelling at the
person that supposedly "caused me to get angry", I quickly
feel it to
the
max, then release it. My husband picked up the technique right away
also. In fact he said the release feels exactly like the big "O". Our
home is much more peaceful, our relationship is improving every day. It was never a bad relationship,
but now it is feeling like it did when we first fell in love. April 25th is
our 21st wedding anniversary, I could not think of a better gift, than what
we've received from this program. Thank you!! A.
B., Homemaker
When I realized that when
people brought up my past relationship and it didn't push my buttons,
I was tickled pink. It was gone. And when it finally hit
me, I jumped around for joy.
I am more direct, clearer about who I am, more honest, less
frightened of others. I tell people what I feel. I used to be the
nice guy, in order to placate people. I'm more honest now, more
straightforward and more me. I'm not afraid of other people, not afraid of
what they will think. I am comfortable just being me. W
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You CAN live a life you may now
only dream of
You CAN have the family you always wanted
You CAN feel safe - AND - excitement in your
relationships
You CAN be attracted to someone who will
admire and protect you
You CAN get rid of the drama - but keep the
passion
You CAN heal your childhood wounds - and live
in harmony and joy
But
to do so, you need only learn how your emotional brain works, how your body
is trying to heal you, and how to let it - instead of fighting it.
THE PROGRAM: From Turmoil to Tranquility
The
Therapist Within
philosophy is not about using tricks and will power to
'derail' your anxiety or fear. It is not about fighting your feelings or
giving you one more thing to "do." It is not about keeping panic at bay
by controlling other people or
about covering up your anxiety with meds. It does not assume that
your anxiety, panic, fear, relationship choices and life crises are "wrong" but instead that
they are signals - symptoms - that your body is trying to get rid of emotional memories,
anxiety, fear and get healthy.
It is not about suppressing those symptoms but rather about learning how to
"plug into" and trust yourself so that you can let go of the struggle
- permanently and completely.
This program will NOT
help you "stuff and re-store"

the proteins of your old
memories. It will NOT
-
Teach you another
method to distract yourself
-
Tell you to think
positively or fight your fear
-
Teach you how to
cover up your feelings
or push them away with medications or "tricks"
-
Provide vague
"touchy-feely" formulas such as "let go" and "follow your
feelings." Instead it gives specific, detailed instructions as to
exactly HOW to get rid of anxiety, panic and need to control, and how to know WHEN to do so to get permanent
relief
This
program will show you how to get rid of the proteins of these old
memories permanently and completely - and restore your emotions to full
health. It will:

-
Teach you how to know
when your body is trying to get rid of old trauma, anxiety and fear
-
Give you very specific,
detailed instructions how to let it
-
Help you stop being
attracted to abusive relationships and end unhealthy patterns now
-
Provide you the skills
you need to turn off your rational brain and turn on your feeling brain
to create healthy, happy and joyful relationships
-
Demonstrate how to
connect with your partner's real emotional needs, not just their words
-
Help you separate out
truth from fiction regarding what your partner is saying and how to deal
constructively with the truth
-
Show you how to turn
your personal crises and trauma into a healing process
You
are the expert in your own life. While you can get guidance on
where to look for answers, only your intuition and 'feelings' can lead you to the correct
answer that fits you. The goal of these programs is to help you connect to
your internal emotional guidance system so that you can get completely
healthy, feel certain of who you
are, where you are going, and are living life with clarity, purpose, peace
and joy.
Download
the From Turmoil To Tranquility book or CD's immediately, Eliminate Your
Fear of Abandonment, Panic
Attacks and Anxiety
and
Start Feeling Better NOW!
To contact us:
info@TheTherapistWithin.com
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